Stupid honest / First rule of journalism

• Airlines should paint giant messages on the bottom of their planes.  "Made you look" - that kind of thing.
• If you think I'm going to write down here happened on Friday night you're madder than I am.
• I've tried to stop being in love with you but it just isn't working, I'm sorry.  It'll wear off - a few more months.
• Next morning I found three of the business cards in my top pocket had been written on. 
• Sometimes her eyes are almost too much.  Like I could slip and fall in.
• If you met me, it wouldn't be obvious that this was my blog.  Nothing exceptional there - that must be true of most bloggers who don't use their names or their .jpgs. 
• Yeah - a fight in a pub in Deptford.  Through the eyeball.  They were contemporaries.
• The first card, in female handwriting, said "Know this:  I will never shag you.  And I would never go out with someone who gawped at me and then was stupid enough to admit it."
• I stopped listening.  But it was worse than that - listening is just a manifestation of caring, and I stopped caring.
• I'm happy on the outside.  We ran pell-mell along Pall Mall.
• "My friend thinks you're hilarious."  "She's misguided."
• The piano player didn't start till eleven.  But when he did, he was cheesy beyond our wildest dreams.
• I snapped out of it - I suddenly realised I'd been completely out of it - and now I was out of that.  I held my head in my hands and they looked at me.
• Cooking lager or fighting lager?
• The second card, in the same hand, said "Never ever be rude about someone's brother or sister."
• I'd have been prettier, of course.  I was prettiest at 21 and wasn't pretty then.
• From what I can piece together I owe you at least two apologies.
• ...Before turning the gun on himself.
• Women recoil from me - immediately or eventually.
• Retconning - look it up; retrospective continuity - retcon your life today and feel better.
• Is there an internet "Who's Who"?  Like wikipedia for people?
• The single greatest piece advice I could give to anyone planning to go to University would be this:  Learn how to vomit.
• I don't have any kind of reason or excuse for what happened.
• What happens to old spaceshuttle heat tiles?  They'd make great trivets.  Your lasagne straight out of the oven may be hot, but it ain't going to burn through THAT.
• I don't honestly remember but in the morning I had no notes, only a pocketful of change.
• "I must be getting old.  Victoria Coren is really starting to do it for me.  Thighs AND brains."
• The third card, in a different but also female hand, said simply "Stupid Honest"
• First rule of journalism:  If you can't think what to write, write a list.

Comments

[Tricia]

This was hilarious.
Worth staying up late to read.
I must visit again soon.

[David]

I guess...if you gots the time to make a list about random nothingness...but for some reason, I dont believe this is nothingness. To me, it's like you're in a bar hanging with friends. Of course, I'm a little faded right now, so it could just be me...

[Kate]

I like.

Kinda streams of consciousness...or not, depending.

[pocketpunk]

the dream download.... i would LOVE to download a nightsworth of my dreams....fantastic. I dont think i would leave the house..............sleeep ...watch .....sleeep ...watch rpt

[overnighteditor]

PP - don't know if you know it, but you've just described the plot of the film "Until the end of the World" - one of those films that most poeple hate, but a small band of followers attest as the best ever made.

But... it wasn't a dream I'm afraid. This post is non-fiction, describing real events which occurred on two separate evenings earlier this month - including remembered snatches of conversations - pieced together from my fragmented recollections.

OE

[ellie]

All that and I'm left wondering if you vomited embarrassingly ... ;-) Like your blog! ellie

[pocketpunk]

....Bis ans Ende der Welt?????.....danke ...i shall give it a virl

[Beth]

Its actually a far more interesting way of recounting evenings than the usual narrative. Its punchy. Requires less real concentration.

I'm pro-list.

I really want to know what you did on Friday night now!

Abb
www.anotherbloodyblog.com

[overnighteditor]

Nothing very exciting. Two nights out in London, usual craziness, patchy memories, blurring of events, names removed.

[Aidan]

Well, all names except Victoria Coren.
Unless that's a McGuffinesque, er, red herring.
Or indeed, nom de plume.
For the real lust-target.
Alan Coren.

[overnighteditor]

Damn, my secret is out.