Simplicity, itself

Guess what I just did with all the teaspoons.

Story starts this way: life's complicated.  So complicated, we try to claim it back, just a little where we can, simplify.  Well I do; my head is a crowded enough place as it is.

Me versus thermodynamics.  Like always keeping the same things in the same pockets.  Like keeping your shoe collection to a minimum.

I got fed up of wearing odd socks.  Not really a mornings person, you see.  Whole concept of "matching" not something my mind could cope with at that time of day, if at all.  And in winter I - literally - get dressed in the dark. 

First, I tried not to care about whether my socks were odd, with some success.  But I couldn't convince everyone ELSE not to care.  The looks, the smirks.  So three years ago I threw away all my socks and replaced them with forty identical black pairs. 

There's more.  I only have one type of plate.  Those large white pasta bowls.  Cereal, soup, steak, toast, soapdish, base for a pot plant - one type of plate does the lot.  Likewise my glasses are all the same.  Octagonal-based tumblers; toothbrush holder, pen tidy, drinking glass - same.  All standard restaurant grades, for easy replacement. 

And the teaspoons?  Beginning of this year, cutlery was on sale.  Designer-quality stainless steel, a third of the usual price.  I bought enough for 36 people; it will be six lifetimes before I need to replace a fork.  Then it occurs to me - sets of cutlery include one type of knife and one type of fork, so why two types of spoon?  There's nothing of significance you can do with a teaspoon that you can't do with tablespoon - ask Alanis.  Apart, conceivably, from measuring a teaspoonful very accurately, or some other very specific purpose requiring something of that exact size...  but that puts the teaspoon in the same category as the spanner or the screwdriver.  Not the knife and fork.

So I just threw them all away.  Except one, nestling in my toolbox.  This is me, luxuriating in the space in my head that this has freed up.

Once, I took on the big one; biros.  And soon as I find one, I'll tell you. 

Comments

[Tired Dad]

Biros do not exist. Or at least do not belong in this universe. I bought one of those big boxes of bic biros once. Not for the office. For At Home. No trace.

At all. Get some sleep. Easier said than done - I know.

[Aidan]

Biros are wonderful things, with a magic ability to internally puncture as soon as I place one in my jacket pocket - one blob of ink sliding down the clear plastic cylinder but never to reach the nib... They taunt me, these Biros...

I alternate between tablespoons and teaspoons for eating soup, depending on how long I want the meal to last...
When on my own, of course, that is. Should I ever host a dinner party, I don't think that would be quite the done thing... Nor a soundtrack of lip-smacking and slurps.

[David]

I think it's because of options, that consumers buy a variety of the same thing. I mean, with the whole spoon thing, the reason people have teaspoons and tablespoons is not just for measuring. It's for eating. Like when you have custard or yogurt, a teaspoon is needed to help savor the flavor. And when you eat soup or gigantic bowl of ice cream a big spoon is needed to gather all the floating noodles and chicken or to scoop up the sweet candy toppings. I'm probably not making any sense at all, but I gotta say, I love having options. I like that I'm able to make small choices in my everyday life, whether it's something I eat or wear. I know it's totally materialistic, but I just cant see myself conforming to a strict life of simplicity. You only live once, so why not indulge?

[mez]

I hope you kept a spork or something cause that's a two in one right there!

Also, with the odd socks - one of the teachers did the dressing in the dark thing and came to school with one pink shoe and one blue shoe. It was a bit embarrassing for her.

[Beth]

I like the sock idea. I do that with underwear. I have 4 sets of identical black underwear so matching during the week isn't an issue.

Not sure about the teaspoon thing though. I'm with David, I like having the relevant spoon for the occasion.

I don't see the need for a separate butter knife though, thats one I don't understand!

[overnighteditor]

Beth - four sets for the week?

Commando Friday, eh.

Thanks for the insight, in any case!

[Beth]

I actually didn't think about that before I wrote it. If you must know I have approximately 43 different sets of undies, plus other assorted knickers but have the matching sets for work.

Its only 4 because I put mondays ones in the wash and they're usually clean by friday, see?

Or just sometimes I'll go wild and wear a different colour one day in the week. All depends on the washing rotation...

[quick]

For me it's different boxers for different moods. Same goes for spoons. And drinking glasses. Especially drinking glasses.

[pocketpunk]

lets talk about SOCKS baby ..lets talk about you and me

la la la

[Jen]

I have about 20 pairs of the same black pants. Why I don't know.Just thought I'd share that.

I too like having the correct spoon for the correct "culinary event". I wouldn't like to eat ice cream with a teaspoon. No sir.

[overnighteditor]

...Much better to stir your coffee with a dessert spoon.

So throw the teaspoons away!