Don't say I never tell you anything

Ten years.  Ten years and she looked EXACTLY the same. And so, she said, did I.   

I was pacing round the freezing station thinking if I had to describe her to someone who didn't know her, what would I say.  It's been ten years, but then and there she is.  Funny how the first thing you see of someone - how you identify them from a distance, is their gait, their walk, the way they carry themselves, and from a distance we spotted each other, and laughed far away, then laughed close together, and laughed at our laughter, and hugged hard.

We first met during fresher's week 1994.  She is still tall and slim and Klimt.  But her voice seemed quite different - posher, more home counties than I remember.  She said the same - my voice too; warmprecise like a radio four announcer, Low, Rockall, 987, deepening rapidly.  The eyes and ears have their fun as we get older, I 'spose.  We went to a pub in the cold centre of the town.  Drinking like it was 1995, conversation straight back to the way we were:

Did youremember -

The stuff we wore were so random, I remember wearing a shapka with black and yellow hazrd tape wrapped round it.  A battered top hat -

Yeah - Like an accident in a charity shop.

'course I was still upset with you for going out with HER

But I thought you - were you - obsessed with...

That enormous flat in Bayswater, never quite clear how many people lived there.  The thing with the council tax...

I see She's been tarting herself about in the fashion pages **

Yeah and they printed her REAL AGE can you believe it?!

Andooyastill keepintouchwith -

You did brooding, you did it very well, pretty convincing as a brooding young man.

Well I wanted to sleep with you obviously

You wanted to sleep with everyone.  How many was it?

- But I always thought you were so well BEHAVED at University

And that time we stole all the signs, and the floor slick with beer -

ordooyoo rememberwhen

Always showing off how clever you were, flaunting it, how you never needed to do any work.  Hated you for that.

That purple hair.  Strangely suited her.

I was upset with you then but know I can't remember what it was all about

You were always late for lectures.

I used to get told off.  Even at that age, in the tutor groups.

Didn't really like him, just sort of attached himself and then couldn't shake -

anwhadeverhappenedto

Too soon back to the station and startled hugs goodbye, too cold to linger.  She admitted she was nervous about meeting me.  What did that mean? 

And on the train on the way back, I was so happy and so high - my heart the top of my chest with love, real love.  Not the can't-help-looking-at-her-arse-when-she-bends-over which young men mistake but which is, by comparison, like the fatal-fake vodka of dying Russian towns.

And my eyes watering with it, and which... insanely - I hurt to think this - ow fuck it hurts... which ONLY NOW I'M SAT HERE WRITING IT DOWN do I realise is what people mean when they talk about crying with happiness.  That's what I was doing - drunkenliterally CRYING with happiness.  On the train. 

Sweetbitter though 'cos up today means down tomorrow yeah. Still, I felt ten years younger.  I'll see her again, soon I hope.  The University girlfriend I never had - not even the once.  Merry dance she led me back then, and - if I were a betting man - will again. 

Only this time I don't mind, because in those ten years I've learnt that sometimes, the dance is enough.

====
Fuckenough of that:  today I worked manic till half ten.  But I don't worry cos soon it's Friday night and pints and cocktails and twenty pound notes and I get to pushpin the little button that resets the digital headclock.  See you all Saturday with our eyes flashing
12:00 --:-- 12:00 --:-- 12:00 --:--

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**NOTE: For those still joining the dots, the girl (sorry... woman) in the picture, and the woman I describe meeting above, are the two platonic female friends from University that I spoke about before.  Our original meeting got split into two.  And there was you thinking my life had no narrative thread.

Comments

[mike]

Crying with happiness: something I had never experienced for myself until this year, in Athens, at Eurovision, drunk on vodka (another not entirely unconnected first), and in the middle of a rather good casual sh*g. (Thank God the lights were out.)

[clarissa]

I love the narrative. I love the links. I've always loved Klimt from a distance. Never studied him to any degree ... and realised when I clicked your link I had never seen a photo of the man. He's not what I expected. He looks like a lovely, twinkly-eyed rascal!

[Jen]

I only wish I could write so wonderfully and poetically as you do OE. I'm not being a sycophant here- I truly love your style, it's mesmerizing.

So, can we surmise that the meeting was a success? ;)

University such a strange new time in peoples lives: a hotbed of memories. A lifetime's worth of reminiscence.

Sounds you had a good time at uni? Particularly intrigued by the stolen signs!

Jen

[oe]

Mike - we're all intrigued! Didn't realise Eurovision could have that effect! If you haven't already blogged about that episode, you MUST. We (I) want to know.

Clarissa - What I meant, as you know, is that she looked (and still does) like one of Gustav Klimt's women. Really! If you met her, you'd see the uncanny resemblance.

Jen - Success? Back then my definition of success with a woman was simple - I either slept with her or not. These days - and I hope this post makes clear - my definition of success is a bit more complicated. I fell in love with her all over again, and I'm as likely to sleep with her now as I was then, i.e. not at all!

And thanks for comments all!!

OE

[oe]

Apologies for the exclamation marks. Wouldn't normally use them!!!
OE

[quick]

Excellent post, as usual.

And yeah, you don't come across an an exclamation mark kind of guy.

[Invisible]

Came here via Quick, and I'm loving your writing. I'll be back!

[looby]

Blimey Mike - does you know who read this? Or are you bothe exceptionally open-minded?

But Eurovision...vodka...sex - I can understand it :)