My darling you smoked crack last night
You shared a pipe. With a man who had a gun.
Alright, maybe you didn't. But you should check out Daddy and the Husband's exquisite brand of sick-in-the-minicab electrosleb in any case.
The lifetales are wellin up faster than I can tell em, always the happy way to be. Especially now I got my getout. My get out of jail free card. Me, a man who won Second Prize in his own beauty contest. My ejector seat, force-field, extra life.
Namely... An inverted comma!
Yes. Newspapers been onto this trick a while. Use em in headlines to insinuate that something that they know for certain isn't true, is true, but in a way that stops them getting sued:
Diana "was murdered"
Reality TV programme "is newsworthy"
Deforestation of collective human soul: Journalists "not responsible"
And now I've got one. Ferreal. I've been back to the very start of this blog, and added a " " " (see what ah did ther) right at the beginning. Seefayorself.
So now anything anyone ever says on here doesn't count. Can't be held responsible. Not my problem. Absolved. Because it's inside an inverted comma.
Foolproof. And if you're smart, you get a " too. Free license, no-one can touch you, do your worst.
Know I will.

do it ...do it...i want the worst
Posted by: pocketpunk | 17 January 2007 at 09:36
Does that mean that if I say "excellent" that the word excellent is actually outside the blog?! I think perhaps it does - as I have closed the inverted commas, and then reopened a new set - to be closed by you or another commenter perhaps at a later date!
Eeep. I shall have to avoid inverted commas on here now so as to remain WITHIN. I hate being outside. I like being within. Inside. Not outside. Humn.
Posted by: Bluesoup | 17 January 2007 at 11:59
Allegedly.
Posted by: Aidan | 17 January 2007 at 14:43
Jeffrey Archer is a liar.
Richard Madeley "is a thief"
Posted by: Ben | 17 January 2007 at 16:47
This is so true (note the sincerity due to the lack of use of inverted commas). I have often noticed how the papers claim anything and say things that are just nonsense because inverted commas seem to absolve them of all wrong-doing.
Oh the fun we can now have...
Posted by: Random Reflections | 17 January 2007 at 21:36
Newspapers don't just comprise headlines, though. And quotemarks suggest someone has voiced a, well, quote containing such a claim. They can be blamed/challenged to explain, too.
Posted by: Aidan | 18 January 2007 at 18:06
i love you
Posted by: clarissa | 18 January 2007 at 20:02
ps. i am not a robot
Posted by: clarissa | 18 January 2007 at 20:03
That's a shame.
I was looking forward to some robot lovin'
OE
Posted by: overnighteditor | 18 January 2007 at 23:50