There was a girl. But this was years ago.
Don't 'member much about her. She sat on my lap. She did. For ages, my friend says.
Just sat herself down. Must've been after two. Been a very long night. We'd gone to the bar next door, then they stamp your wrist and you go down the stairs, and through to the club.
Trainers shlip-shlap-shlip on sticky floor. My round - threebottlesowater and threejackdanielsancokes.
Step-splosh-ARSE... well, most of three Jack Daniels and Cokes. Cold. wet. leg.
At least there were three of us when we came in - where is he? 'Spose we'll just have to drink his. Here, have some of this.
[There was definitely a girl.]
This, on top of absinthitos (yeahitslikeamojitobutwithabsinthyeah atennereachyeah myround) earlier that evening.
Not great for the old recollection. All that's left is my friend's description when we meet up two weeks later. Georgeous he says. And my own, camera-flash memory of her. Black and white dress, big squares, sixties stylee. Black-bob hair, almost Louise Brooks.
She stays aloof, even after I show her my watch and everything. I like it. That; the aloofness. Place is so loud - we're shouting straight into each other's ears.
SO WHAT DO YOU DO?
I TAKE DRUGS AND FUCK STRANGERS.
[She probably had a name.]
NO! FOR A LIVING! WHAT'S YOUR JOB?!
WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN PEOPLE ASK WHAT YOU DO AT PARTIES?
I SAY THAT AS A GENERAL RULE, I DRINK TOO MUCH, AM RUDE TO THE HOSTS, AND GET ASKED TO LEAVE.
This is all going FAR too well. Swimmingly, you might say... Certainly the bar, the bar is swimming.
[Where'd she go?]
I notice that my arms are leaving coloured after-images behind them as I move them around - video feedback plus a bit of quantization.
Suddenly, someone - suddenlysomeone! - has twiddled every knob on my vision mixer.
A thought sparks in the middle of my head, and starts making its way to the front, colliding with everything on the way out, the same way photons generated in the heart of the sun take thousands of years to reach the surface.
[Wasn't there a girl?]
Thatsss... purretty... sterrraaaaange...
The DJ booth starts to recede into the distance. Now I'm looking at the stage through a toilet roll... no, a telescope... a telescope the wrong way round.
And after another 30 minutes, or it could have been 30 seconds, the thought emerges.
This isn't E...
...It's K. Fffuuuuu....