An Illiterate Witness

This is the annoying thing about drunken tramps - they possess some magical sixth sense, maybe they are taught it in Tramp School - which allows them to corner you not only when you're similarly inebriated, but also when you're open to wild and flagrantly impractical, ridiculous suggestion.

That's it. I am going to be a drunken tramp when I'm older. It's suddenly become a lifetime's ambition. I think I would be really good at it, too.

P.S. I am relieved to hear that the deer was dead. There's nothing worse than a deer being alive when it's mounted.
P.P.S. Oh dear, that sounds all wrong. I mean ... when it's mounted on the wall. On the wall, I mean. The wall. Erm. Sorry.
P.P.P.S. Your back (sic). This is good. Please don't disappear again without permission.


He's back. And how!


Words work too.


... and what a post he's back with!

You know, while I appreciate the plot line of the peoplehack re the code, just the line:

That one giggle and I'm there, pillion with Spanky and his sickening, suddening scrunch

made this post, for me...

Welcome back, you have been sorely missed.


parting like pizza...totally perfect....

Miles Away

brilliant writing. love the way it all seems to fold and twist like DNA strands...


Sorry, I just had to read this (and comment) again. I am entranced with your ability to wind time/space round itself and show us how everything is interconnected.


F'ing hell, that was awesome.

Black Francis

Ed Is (not) Dead.


Gosh! I love the pizza image, and the structure, and the longing and your resentment at the unfairness of it all.


my own secret..... 'Noli me tangere', over and over and over and over.....it works .....or perhaps people just steer clear because they think I'm crazy.

I'm glad you're back....that was exactly you.


Witness - always first with the comments, how do you manage it? And thanks for the post of the week nomination...

Ani - Sorry I was gone so long. Your comment about folding time and space made me think. Space and time and matter and energy are what it's all about.

Callisto - Yes, Yes I suppose they do. But I wish I had a shortcut. Or at least had the secret that other men seem to have.

peach - thank you. I was probably thinking "sudden, sickening crunch" but "sickening, suddening scrunch" just tripped off the keyboard so much better.

pocketpunk - thankyou... still my blogsister.

Miles Away - it is a bit twisty, yes. Sometime I use it to cover the holes in the narrative.

TSP - thanks, took about five minutes to think up and three weeks to write down.

Black Francis - welcome, and no, not quite dead yet.

looby - yes, longing and resentment, and envy.

isabelle - I will whisper it in your ear, hold your fingers and click my tongue...

An Unreliable Witness

How do I manage it? Um, I am not a stalker. Oh no. I merely wake up very early whilst you post shockingly late. There.


There ought to exist some manner of universally recognised symbol or expression that would enable those such as myself, who have difficulty with the usual kind of approving comment box fellatio, to say, with feeling, fuck me.


Jeezus a commanding performance. I'm with everyone else: glad you've broken the bit of silence.

I sat in Picadilly Circus not too long ago. Waiting for Lilly Whites to open so I could buy a cheap tennis racket. My aspirational tennis partner and I sat on the steps of the fountain and blended with the tourists. I spotted a mentalist vagabond from the corner of my eye. My aspirational tennis partner almost made eye contact. I put a stop to it very quickly. Interaction was prevented. I was sober.


came back for another toke bro........

black tie events and other such office parties are sad excuses for outrageous flirting and worse....makes me feel ill.....reminds me of the women with pegs on their tops..remember that post OE??

Jack - 'comment box fellatio'.....fucking great !



This is very-very good.

[round of applause]


Oooooh. I want to peoplehack. What an advantage.

This was wonderful. You had me at "license to engage". I want one of those, too.


Absolutely terrifying pleasure to read.

I'll be visiting again.


Does OE have an email address or does he live without such strings?


Thanks for comments all.

PP - yes the clothes pegs... although I think it was just me that was desperate this time

Clarissa - I've e-mailed you.


A peoplehack? Of course it exists - it's called love. Unless of course you are referring to the red tops press pack...


Very A C Clarkeian, short-story style. Me likes. V. much.

Now, who can I get to stroke me behind my ear....?

edvard moonke

hey overnight editor. love it. haven't read anything as good in a long time.


I always used to reply in German if a drunk talked to me and they'd get confused and piss off, or sometimes I'd pretend to be deaf and usually they get bored if you just do fake sign language at them like, sticking up two fingers or flipping the bird.

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