Ice and a slice

Smallhours Saturday.  Back to the flat.  Third date and both of us knowing exactly what it meant.  Don't remember the cab ride... must've been one, somewhere along the line.

I leave her in the front room, watching Have I Got News For You from the disk.  In the kitchen, two gin and tonics become suddenly, wildly, algorithmically complicated.  How wasted I am.  Both are.

Steadying the lemon with my left hand.  In the other, my only expensive knife, the only one that's sharp.  Concentrating hard, yellow slices: One, two, three, fou-

And neatly, completely, slice off the tip of my left thumb. 

A perfect little dome of flesh, about 4mm deep and 12mm round, flush to the chopping board. After a minutes dithering I wander back into the front room, armdown and redgushing on a white shirt, numb-sting through the alcohaze. 

"Umm... Think I've... Cut off the end of my thumb, yeah?"

She was quite good, in all, coping with the blood and bandages.  We sat on the sofa for an hour waiting for the bleeding to stop. Me thumb in the air the whole time, like some over-positive idiot.  Then, gingerly, to bed.

Well - if a relationship can survive something like that so early on, maybe it holds some hope.

Oh, and for you connoisseurs, it was Tanqueray Export.

Comments

[Angelalala]

Alcohol and sharp implements, never a good mix. Except that you don't feel the pain as much after a drink so maybe I should rethink that.

[annie]

Hmm. Freud claimed there's no such thing as an accident. Maybe you are shy?

And, ouch.

[Beth]

I can tell you why it happened.

It happened because you were putting lemon in a G&T and it really should have been lime.

Perhaps invest in some of those already frozen lemon/lime slices. You're less likely to maim yourself going into the freezer than cutting fresh/flesh.

Hope the healing process is going well.

[C]

Oh please tell me that your thumb remained "in the air the whole time, like some over-positive idiot" through out sex too. Please! Lie, if you have to.

C

[Artful Kisser]

Well, as long as it was Tanqueray... How tragic it would have been to have lost a finger over a bottle of McCormicks.

[clarissa]

Does this mean you have one thumb that is freakishly shorter than the other?

[Brom]

Did the first aid work, or did you have to resort to lemon aid?

[Ariel]

Hmm. So I take it you don't have a cat for whom the thumb tip would have made a delicious and impromptu snack? Glad to hear the incident didn't get in the way of your plans.

[camille]

I prefer my gin and tonic without a thumb-tip, I think it wrecks the subtle flavour of the gin. Or something.

[blueseaurchin]

When you are that sloshed, the lemon is no longer necessary.

Incidentally if i were there I would have fainted.

[isabelle]

thumbsucking.

[BiB]

Bad luck. I haven't read a blog-post that made me cover my mouth in horror for, I don't think, ever. Hope you grow a new one.

[isabelle]

I saw this:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7376191.stm

and thought of you.....x

[Timbo]

Umm, I know being pissed and getting busy are important and everything, but did, you know, going to hospital ever cross your mind?
I hear they can help with things like that.

[oe]

Angelalala - Most accidents happen in the home. Best place for them I say.

annie - trust me it was an accident.

Beth - I didn't know about frozen slices of lemon. Does it work for slices of thumb, too?

C - Oh alright then. Kneeling behind her and nearing a conclusion, I caught sight of myself in the mirror, looking back with a stupid grin and giving myself the thumbs up. Kinda spoilt the mood.

Artful Kisser - Quite so. Should really have been a dirty martini though.

clarissa - No, but it does have a sort of lump out the end.

Brom - Your taxi's here.

Ariel - That's what I like about pets. They pretend to be our friends and everything, but its always implicit - any slip-up on your part, like dying on them in the house, and they'll eat you. No hesitation.

camille - Try gin with a little white vermouth; just a finger.

blueseaurchin - You're right. The lemon is unnecessary. I'll know who not to call the next time I have a nightcap crisis.

isabelle - You could have kissed it better.

BiB - never read a blog post made you cover your mouth in horror?! Stick around.

Timbo - hello, long time no anything. I did wonder later, what exactly I'd have done if the injury had been any worse, like a centimetre or two.

[emmak]

ooh never had tanqueray...I'm a whore for Bombay Sapphire....but after that I'm craving a G&T

[pocketpunk]

christ
you're almost getting as tardy as me with your updating!
hope all is well
x

[threaded barrels]

This system is refillable and can be reused over and over again.